While your parents may have been a source of strength and authority for most of our lives, it’s important to remember that they are older and coming to terms with a lifetime of memories and experiences, including illness and loss. After all, they are individuals with their own histories, passions and interests!
As a loved one, you can develop a better understanding of your aging family members and their needs by exploring both the joys and challenges they may be experiencing.
Discovering New Friends and Interests
Older people today enjoy a longer life expectancy than previous generations, and with a longer life span comes the opportunity to continue to grow. Many retirees discover a greater sense of purpose and new interests that they didn’t have time to pursue during their working years.
They might be discovering wonderful new passions or friendships at local senior centers, community groups or online. Perhaps they’ve learned to play pickleball or are enjoying playing card and board games with a new group of friends. These relationships are to be celebrated and encouraged because we know it’s essential to maintain a healthy mind and spirit. Staying connected to friends and engaging in enriching activities that keep them active can help an older person maintain a sense of identity and cope with the challenges of aging.
To help a parent cultivate new interests, it’s helpful to get to know their likes and dislikes, lifelong strengths, and what has been enjoyable or meaningful to them throughout their lives. What you once knew may have changed, and you may be surprised to discover aspects of your loved ones that you haven’t seen before!
Finding Peace and Contentment
You may also notice that your loved ones seem less stressed as they have gotten older. Social scientists have found that older people tend to have a more even keel than young adults. “Contrary to negative stereotypes of aging, late life is a time of relatively stable and high levels of well-being,” says Professor Susan Charles. “With older age, people focus more on the present and less on planning for the future, and this mindset is one possible explanation for high levels of well-being later in life.” It’s also true that they are less consumed by work and childcare duties than younger adults.
Researchers have found that older adults are more satisfied with their lives because they choose to be. As Scientific American reports, “Aware of life’s fragility and their own mortality, people concentrate more and more on regulating emotions to maximize good feelings in the time that is left.” Therefore, you may find that your loved one can see the bright side of things even when faced with difficulties or unpleasant circumstances. This is something we should all learn to do!
Navigating Loss and Life Change
However, living alone or without regular companionship can weigh quietly on an older person. A national study of six-year trends found that more than one-third of people age 50 to 80 feel lonely or isolated, especially if they are dealing with major physical or mental health issues. We know that isolation can cause or worsen health problems.
Your parent could also be grieving and silently processing the impact of multiple losses – friends, siblings, the spouse they built a life with, their own physical strength or a cherished role they once held.
They may also fear that a health setback – such as surgery or a fall – could cause them to lose control of their day-to-day lives. Feeling a loss of control can make older people angry or defensive. It’s important to check in frequently and listen to what your loved one says in terms of their desired quality of life and acknowledge their feelings in an empathetic way.
Companion Care for Older Adults
Fortunately, companion care is available for the times a family member or friend isn’t able to engage with an older adult. An elderly parent often just needs support and encouragement to find new activities and interests to develop friendships and companionship. Kadan Homecare, a family-owned business with more than 40 years of experience serving Metro Atlanta families, is an award-winning provider of in-home personal care and companion care. Our skilled, attentive caregivers are committed to providing a nurturing environment that enables an older loved one to comfortably age at home in a way that gives them agency over their life for as long as possible.
For more information or to talk with our team about care at home in the Atlanta area, call 770-396-8997 or email info@kadan.org.